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Sex and the Manor: Dear Mr. Eagle

By Cory David Mr. Eagle WM 2020 – 2021

Dear Mr. Eagle, “The last several years I have found myself giving up control during my sexual encounters. My life is full of daily decisions as a team manager, giving up control sexualy seems to empower me. I don’t consider myself submissive or a bottom, is this normal?”

Dear Normal or Not, 

What is normal? What works for some doesn’t always work for everyone.  We find our way through our sexual experiences by trial and error. The pleasures that inspire you and fulfill your needs are yours.  It makes complete sense that you would find pleasure in giving up control, trusting in another person to make those decisions and relaxing into the pleasures of being serviced.  

Because you enjoy playing the siminsive role has nothing to do with whether you are a bottom or a top.  The dominant top can instruct you to satisfy their needs.  Restraints like rope, leather cuffs or handcuffs can provide that control you desire, while providing the role of submissive top. Remember there is no right or wrong, have trust and explore with your partner or partners.  

Please remember readers that sex is healthy and a needed action in our wild daily lives.  This activity isn’t bad or deviant, harmful or ungodly, it’s human nature to love, feel sexual emotions and pleasures.  Fulfilling a role, wants or needs is something you can explore.  There are ways to explore that on your own also, there are singular options with toys and videos that can pull yourself into the next chapter of your sexual self.  

There are many groups and organizations to assist in exploring your BDSM self.  Locally one is the Dungeon at Leatherwerks that has informational and instructional classes, in many aspects of BDSM.  We will also be exploring with MsKitty in the coming issues. 

Ok readers, I said I would share, being the control freak and perfectionist I like to think I am.  I do enjoy comfort in letting go and having my partner take control. It takes away the daily pressures to complete the job or finish a project. Where it’s between you and your partner, no timeline, deadline or penalties.  The joy of pleasures from you exploring the boundaries and painful pleasures are all on you.  

Like our readers question, I also enjoy being restrained while pleasured by flogging, or my favorite, CBT.  Your pleasures are yours, don’t let the restraints that hold you back be ones of fear or unhealthy beliefs, let your restraints be of leather and rope, set you free!

Explore yourself, tell your partners what you want, play safe and healthy… 

Please remember to send your questions to