By John Hayden
Kermit The Frog famously intoned “it’s not easy being green.” He was so very wrong. Being green this time of year is very easy. The question is: are you willing to work for it?
Sure you can drop some green food coloring in your beer or some Midori in a martini on Saint Patrick’s Day. But Martha Stewart would say that’s “for basic bitches.” Here are five ways to out bougie the bougiest green queens in South Florida.
1) The Classic Green
The greenest day of the year is on a Tuesday so step one to a good St. Paddy’s day is to schedule Wednesday off. Next is a bougie cocktail. I love The Last Word cocktail. It was first concocted a century ago during prohibition using bathtub gin and only got better with the reintroduction of the real McCoy.
Add lime juice, gin (I prefer Nolet’s Reserve), chartreuse, and maraschino liquor. Shake for about thirty seconds. Don’t skimp on the shaking, it’s worth the work.
Pour into a coupe glass (like the old fashioned champagne glasses) and add a lime wheel and plenty of cherries.
2) A Splash of Green
Big shamrock sunglasses and a green jacket stained with beers of St. Patrick’s Days past are fine for frat boys. A little green can go a long way.
The Tom Ford Frame Pocket Square is a deep green with a dark border to draw the eye. At $290 do not use it to mop up beer spilled on a frat boy’s green jacket.
Pair the square with a pair of Tom Ford’s Ribbed Crew Socks. These are more of a lime green and will contrast with the dark green square.
3) The Green Thumb
It’s South Florida, everything is lush green every day. Let’s forget landscaping and focus on our actual thumbs and accompanying digits. I don’t paint my nails often but when I do I find colors that will make a statement. The Vert Égyptien shade of Hermés Nail Enamel is perfect for every day of March.
Add a little tone-on-tone flair with some green gems from the Nail Rhinestone Luxury Green Kit. You’ll have nails that would make St. Patrick himself proud.
4) The Green Party
Don’t worry, I’m not getting political. I’m talking crazy insane green parties. Plenty of places will have happier-than-usual happy hours but there are a couple special events worth your attention.
Fort Lauderdale’s parade is Saturday, March 14, 2026 but the official bar crawl is Tuesday afternoon. The most fun will be creating your own bar crawl. Work your way from The Well to Tropics. If you make it all the way, you’ll understand why it’s called a “crawl.”
5) The Green Screen
The Lucky Charms leprechaun is magically delicious. The Leprechaun of big screen lore is maliciously murderous. This 33-years-old cult classic is a must-watch. While Warrick Davis is supreme as the titular creature, it’s fun to see a pre-Friends Jennifer Aniston.
A great night to stream the film while wearing your Tom Ford square and socks and sipping on a The Last Word. Happy March!
