By Eric Noel Roman
Bottles keep your beverages contained. Sometimes, bottles can be used to send a message, or become a creative decorative vase. As humans we sometimes think it is good to keep emotions in bottles. Does bottling in feelings help protect you from the moment? Absolutely. It protects an individual from exposing one’s true feelings and ideas. It does help in creating a socially safe environment. We like to hide our feelings in little glass coffins thinking they will disappear, whether a good or bad emotion, it does not matter.
For many years of my life, I enjoyed the task of not causing tension within my core friends. I would stay quiet and never create an argument, even if it was legitimate to the conversation. I kept all of my opinions and ideas to myself. I would grab those bottles off the wall, stuff my feelings in them, and toss them away into the vast ocean of lost memories. Remember what bottles are for? Keeping things safe, right? Eventually these bottles would not get passed around, broken, or washed away in the tides of life. Instead they accumulated. After years of not talking about how I felt or celebrating major accomplishments, I became very unstable. I did not give myself praise for reaching goals and I overemphasized my downfalls. I was becoming very self-destructive. I isolated myself and made all my situations awkward. I pushed everyone away, until I was alone.
In a state of loneliness I began to openly write about my depressed feelings on social media. Each post was morbid, angry, and spiteful. I wrote just to get reactions, all negative. After sometime, I opened up and let loose my emotions and started feeling better. I would write how angry I was at myself, or how sometimes I was alone and lonely. I felt better. My posts evolved from how upset I was at the world to how grateful I was to have experienced the hate. Wait, what? Thankful? Yes, I am thankful I was able to learn that expressing my anger allowed me to release it. I stopped reaching for bottles and just celebrated positive accomplishments.
All things are accomplishments now. If I fail or feel angst, I express it. I placed well in a race, guess that it’s time to celebrate. I realized that the bottles were never being used and I regularly expressed how I felt, I noticed my expressions eventually helped others get past their feelings of depression, because they felt they were not alone.
Remember when you reach for the bottle to place your tiny sadness in it, or the fact that you reached a small goal in life and did not celebrate, you will end up filling your ocean with resentment toward others and yourself. By vocalizing your feelings, you are allowing for anger and sadness to escape. The bottles can stay on the shelf and decorate your walls with flowers. Your ocean of emotions stays clear. In the end, you will have an ocean where you can see far into the horizon. A horizon that is full of light and life.
As a Dj by trade, fitness lover by hobby, FIU graduate, and simply trying to be happy,
I am your writer, Eric Noel Roman.