By John Hayden
The definition of what constitutes a family has expanded over the past twenty years, most notably to include the LGBTQIA+ community. Once, LGBTQIA+ parenthood generally came as a result of heterosexual relationships prior to coming out. Now fostering and adoption barely raise an eyebrow.
However, the process can seem daunting and intrusive. But there is help and guidance is available to same-sex couples who feel the call to expand their families. ChildNet helps find foster homes for children in Broward and Palm Beach Counties.
One of those families is the Cohn family. Cherie and Tanya have an amazing story of love and building an extended family, and shared it with OutClique. Before they met, Tanya had twins, London and Adelaide. Soon after, when the twins were about five, Cherie and Tanya met and on Mother’s Day they moved into Cherie’s.
Eventually they decided to grow their family. “We talked long and hard about various ways to have children. Not that our children weren’t enough, but we have more love to give,” Cherie said. Medical options didn’t work out. “Tanya and I tried, unsuccessfully, a huge heart break.”
With one relative living with them and other family in the neighborhood, they were already a very blended family. “We started to consider fostering. We talked with the twins about what it is and what it would look like.”
The Cohns took a required class to foster infants, went through a home examination and were approved once they fixed a fence in their yard. Cherie says she stayed up until midnight working to make the repairs. Shortly thereafter, 11-day-old Jett came into their lives. They fostered him for three years and, due to issues with the biological mother, had to fight to adopt him. Cherie wiped away tears when she recounted the story. “We fought with the mindset that he could go somewhere else. It was devastating, but it also empowered us more just to show that he’s part of our family.”
Authorities agreed and Jett was home for good.
Growing Family
While some may still raise an eyebrow at the idea of same-sex couples fostering and adopting, the Cohns say they never felt any pushback. “ChildNet has been great,” Tanya said. “The caseworkers are very connected to the kids.”
Tanya says they worked within the system, and the system worked with them. “There was never that feeling that people were confused or taken aback or how to address us. Even in the courts, it was always very open.”
While Jett took three years to adopt, their next two children came much faster. They got a call asking if they would foster a newborn in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). The child had no one by his side except for nurses and needed someone.
Cherie and Tanya were those someones. “We started going to the NICU. Not gonna lie, I was scared to death,” Cherie said. Asher was going to need a lot of love and even more care. “He was born not breathing, has a double-clubbed foot, they had to physically pry his fingers open just to get his thumbs out. He had to wear a splint on one hand, had hip dysplasia, and a device for his feet that were pointing the wrong way, and a feeding tube.”
It sounds overwhelming, but it just took one visit to know these moms were ready. “I was like oh my gosh, are we sure we are okay to handle this? But we were hooked the moment that we held him.”
Asher was eventually brought home and the Cohn family thought they were complete. “We were getting rid of baby clothes, we just didn’t think it was going to happen again,” Tanya said. “I call it the add water, shake, and stir story.”
“We had let our license go, we were done. But the one exception that we had discussed was if a child was born by either biological mother, we would take them in.” At the end of 2022, that is what happened. Now about five months old, Baby Z became their second adoption in a year.
Today, the twins are 14, while Jett is five, and Asher is two. Tanya says they appreciate all the work ChildNet does, and says the case workers remember the kids, and even came to Asher’s birthday party. While they may be finished fostering and adopting, they will always be part of the ChildNet family and grateful for their family.
