By Denny Patterson
In an inspiring new memoir that blends maternal insight with musical legacy, The Untold Story of Scott Hoying, Pentatonix Star: My Son’s Journey to Find Harmony in Music and Life offers an intimate look into the life of Grammy Award-winning artist and Pentatonix co-founder Scott Hoying through the eyes of his biggest supporter: his mom, Connie Hoying.
More than just a recounting of a superstar’s journey, the book is a heartfelt narrative of perseverance, musical passion, LGBTQ+ acceptance, and the power of supportive parenting. Alongside stories of Scott’s Texas upbringing, early love of music, and the meteoric rise of Pentatonix, Connie offers a candid reflection on his coming out in high school – sharing her initial fears, missteps, and the meaningful path she took toward understanding and becoming an ally.
The book concludes with a reflection on the wonderful, authentic life Scott and his husband Mark Manio have created for themselves, as well as the support and choices that led up to that moment. Along with a foreword by Scott, the book also includes a QR code to an original, previously unreleased song “Pray,” which covers themes related to Scott’s coming out story.
The duo recently took time to answer some questions for OutClique.
Denny Patterson: Hello! Thank you both for taking some time to chat with me. How excited were you to release The Untold Story of Scott Hoying, Pentatonix Star: My Son’s Journey to Find Harmony in Music and Life out into the world?
Connie Hoying: I am so excited! This has been a journey for about a year and a half, and I’ve poured my heart and soul into it. The kids and my husband too, they’ve all helped and poured their souls into it as well. I can’t believe it’s finally here.
Scott Hoying: It’s been so cool to see my mom go from having an idea for it, to interviewing people, to calling me every day and being like, I think we should add this to the story. Do you remember when this happened? Can you tell me more details on this? It’s inspiring to me that this book manifested, and I am just so amazed by my mother.
Denny Patterson: Connie, this book is such a beautiful blend of personal memoir and parenting guide. What inspired you to write it?
Connie Hoying: To be honest with you, over the years, I have been approached by so many parents of gifted children and parents of young, gay children. This book covers a gamut, but I never thought I could write a book. My thing was math and science, but when I retired and after Scott got married, I suddenly thought, hmm, maybe I could write a book. Maybe people would be interested to read about our journey. We’ve had a pretty crazy life [laughs]. First, I started watching videos. We have hundreds of hours of videos, and then I looked at thousands of pictures, interviewed dozens of people, and the more info I got, the more I started writing. It’s very chronological. From Scott’s birth to now living with his husband in a beautiful home and wanting to soon have children. So, it covers the whole gamut, and even though it’s about our whole family’s life, the bulk of the book is focused on Scott and all the awesome things he’s done. Plus, I have to say, Scott inspires me. He inspires many people, but he definitely inspires me.
Denny Patterson: And Scott, what was it like to read your mother’s words recounting your life?
Scott Hoying: Gosh, it was honestly a beautiful experience. When we first received the physical copy of the book, it was so cool to go through it and see some of the pictures. It was very, very nostalgic and such a reminder of the beautiful life my parents helped me create. As well as how amazing our childhood was and how hard I worked for this. I always loved to sing, perform, enter contests, and make albums since I was very little, so it was cool to relive and see this journey. It was also exciting to see how it flowed to where we’re at now. It was such a natural process of following passion. I mean, I didn’t even know what acapella was until I was in college. Everything worked out.
Denny Patterson: Were there any stories or memories that surprised or moved you?
Scott Hoying: A lot of them do, but I think the “Mom, I’m Gay” chapter is, fortunately, a fond memory. It was such a dark time because I was struggling internally coming to terms with my sexuality, but now I look back on it with such a beautiful light because it did go positively, and it reminds me how unconditionally loved I am by my mom.
Denny Patterson: Connie, what do you ultimately hope other parents—especially of LGBTQ+ kids—take away from your journey with Scott?
Connie Hoying: I’m hoping that they realize that love, support, acceptance, and positivity can be life changing. It can go in one direction or another, and you want it to be in a positive direction, so your child has the resilience and confidence to move forward in life. That’s what I ultimately hope readers take away from the book.
Denny Patterson: What advice would you give to other parents who are maybe having a little bit trouble navigating that journey of becoming a supportive ally?
Connie Hoying: In the book, I write how the first thing you have to say is, and I did, is I love you so, so, so much. Nothing’s going to change that. Of course, I had questions going through my head. I mean, Scott always dated girls, and he dated Kirsten when he was in high school, so I was a bit shocked [laughs].
Scott Hoying: But when Kirsten and I were dating, it was like reenacting the entire Chicago movie musical. There were clues [laughs]. But I agree with you, Mom. It’s like letting love be your North Star. I feel like every parent wants the best for their child, but trying to force them to be something they aren’t is not going to help them grow. You’re only hurting your child by trying to make them something they’re not.
Denny Patterson: Scott, many people know you as a confident performer, but this book also explores more vulnerable moments in your life. How did you feel about opening up those parts of your story to a wider audience?
Scott Hoying: I felt excited. I feel like that’s the era of my life that I’m currently in. I’m writing more personal music, I’m going more solo stuff, and it feels good. Letting more people in is also the scariest thing ever, but it’s very fulfilling. I saw this quote that said, “We’re all so scared to be vulnerable, but we love when other people are vulnerable most.” Like, we love people more when they’re vulnerable. It’s a perfectly aligned thing because I’m working on being more vulnerable with people.
Denny Patterson: The QR code to your original song “Pray” adds such a powerful, artistic layer to the book. Can you tell us more about the inspiration behind that track and how it ties into your coming out journey?
Scott Hoying: It’s a fun, upbeat track, and it’s about how ridiculous the notion of trying to pray the gay away is. How that’s not a possible thing. In the song, I’m like, I tried, but it didn’t work and maybe who I am is who I’m supposed to be.
Denny Patterson: Connie, you reflect on the importance of fostering creativity in your home. Looking back, what do you think were the most meaningful ways you nurtured Scott’s musical passions?
Connie Hoying: We did a lot, and his dad had a lot to do with it, too. Of the two of us, he’s the creative one. He would play guitar, write songs, make up lullabies to the kids to put them to sleep, and I think because of him, all three of our kids developed a love for music.
Denny Patterson: And Scott, how do you think your mom’s influence helped shape your creative resilience through all those chapters?
Scott Hoying: It was everything. One, the unconditional love led me to being able to be resilient because I believed that I could do anything. I didn’t attach failure to my self-worth, but also, my mom was a hard worker. So, I learned how to work hard from a young age. I was going to voice lessons and piano lessons, and I loved it. I could get into a hyper focus and work on music for hours. My mom saw that, and she had a passion for mommaging me, so it was this perfect storm.
Denny Patterson: Connie, do you think you’ll be writing any more books in the future?
Conne Hoying: I don’t know. When I first started this book, I had planned to do a three-part series, but I ended up putting everything in here. So, now, I don’t know.
Scott Hoying: We got a lot of life left to live, and the adoring fans are going to want a sequel! You also have two other kids who have lived wild lives, so you can write about them as well.
Connie Hoying: And I have five grandchildren now, and soon to have more from Scott and Mark, and I can’t wait. So, maybe a book about them.
Denny Patterson: Scott, what’s next for you and your music career?
Scott Hoying: Oh, there’s so much stuff I’m working on. A bunch of solo stuff, Pentatonix is working on Christmas stuff, and I’m looking at touring this year and next. I have been working on developing a musical for a couple years that is going into another workshop, and I’m also trying to get more into acting and dancing. I’ve had this realization that we can do and be so much more than what we’ve attached our identities to initially, and I want to do it all.
Denny Patterson: Before we wrap up, is there anything else you would like to mention or plug?
Connie Hoying: Just that to keep up-to-date, you can visit my website, ConnieHoying.com, but also, Scott’s song “Pray” in the book is a QR code, and that QR code takes you to a bonus website where you can see videos of Scott, additional photos, and added bonus features.
Connect with Connie and Scott by following them on social media @scotthoying and @conniehoying. The Untold Story of Scott Hoying, Pentatonix Star: My Son’s Journey to Find Harmony in Music and Life is available to purchase online and at all major book retailers.
