By John Hayden
’Twas the week before Christmas — or the first nights of Hanukkah —
Not a cocktail was stirring, and the menorah was looking bleak.
— Clement Clarke Moore (probably)
With a holiday season that now stretches from Halloween through January 4, it’s easy to burn out before we’ve even carved the turkey. To help keep the cheer flowing, entertainment critic and cocktail connoisseur John Hayden is here with spirited drink recipes — each perfectly paired with a seasonal movie.
The Miracle Margarita
Hanukkah begins Dec. 14, 2025, so let’s start with something festive and blue.
Ingredients:
Milagro Silver tequila, fresh lime juice, agave nectar, soda water, and a splash of blue curaçao to echo Hanukkah’s traditional colors.
Preparation:
Shake tequila, lime juice, agave, and blue curaçao with ice. Strain into a glass and top with soda water.
Spoiler Alert: So good it won’t last eight minutes — forget eight days.
Movie Pairing: The Hebrew Hammer
Adam Goldberg stars as the titular hero who must stop Santa’s evil son (played with unhinged glee by Andy Dick). The film skewers every holiday tradition without ever getting mean.
Best Line: “Shabbat shalom, muthaf****rs.”
Whoville Christmas Punch
Perfect for the Grinch at your gathering — sweet, sour, and eventually smile-inducing.
Ingredients:
2 oz Midori, 1 oz vodka or white rum, 1 oz fresh lemon or lime juice, ½ oz simple syrup (optional), lemon-lime soda or club soda, ice, maraschino cherry, and optional red sanding sugar for rimming.
Preparation:
Rim a glass with red sugar if you’re feeling fancy. Shake Midori, citrus juice, and vodka/rum with ice. Strain into a glass with fresh ice, top with soda, and garnish.
Movie Pairing: How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Jim Carrey’s green, grouchy Grinch broods atop Mount Crumpit until he learns the true meaning of the season — which has nothing to do with presents or roast beast.
Best Line: “The Grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day.” (He should probably get that checked.)
Clark Griswold’s Family Christmas Eggnog
Ideal for those unexpected — and let’s be honest, unwanted — visitors.
Ingredients:
6 oz store-bought eggnog; 1.5 oz spiced rum, bourbon, or brandy; nutmeg or cinnamon.
Preparation:
Shake eggnog and your spirit of choice in a shaker (or a tightly sealed jar) with ice until frosty. Strain into a glass and garnish.
Movie Pairing: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Everything is going just fine for Clark’s “old-fashioned family Christmas” until Cousin Eddie and his RV roll in. Cue the chaos, the moose-shaped glasses, and the need for much stronger nog.
Best Line: “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.”
Naughty List
A holiday party full of people on the Nice list? Snooze. This will fix that.
Ingredients:
2 oz bourbon, 1 oz fresh lemon juice, 1 oz cherry juice, 2 dashes orange bitters. Add a candy cane for a peppermint twist.
Preparation:
Shake with ice and strain into a glass.
Movie Pairing: Bad Santa
Billy Bob Thornton’s turn as a foul-mouthed, boozy mall Santa is as dark as it is hilarious. This movie holds a cracked mirror up to the audience while you contemplate whether you want a second cocktail — and whether you resemble anyone on screen.
Box of Wine
Sometimes you need something simple. And this one comes with a game.
Ingredients:
Wine. From a box. Red or white — we don’t judge.
Preparation:
Open the perforated panel, pull out the spigot, and pour.
Movie Pairing: A Christmas Story
Not a hit in theaters, but now a 24-hour Christmas marathon staple, Ralphie’s quest for his Red Ryder BB gun gives us one of the greatest drinking-game lines in holiday history.
How to Play:
Every time someone says, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” take a sip. They say it a lot, so the box format is convenient.
Cheers to the Season
Whether you’re celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or simply the joy of surviving another holiday cycle, may your drinks be strong, your movies be comforting, and your friends be fabulous.
