“When did you know?” is a question that all LGBTQ+ people have been asked at least once in our lives. And the answer depends on how specific you want to get.
When did I know I was “different?” Probably in kindergarten.
When did I know I liked boys? Fourth grade.
When did I know I was gay? Middle school.
When did I know I was queer, in my sexuality and my politics? College.
For many people in our community, our identity is always unfolding. I know LGBTQ+ people who realized they were queer the first time they tried on their mom’s high heels in elementary school. Others didn’t discover their identity until they were well into their 50s or 60s.
Some of us came out as bi first, just to test the waters, and then eventually took the plunge and came out as gay. Some of us came out as gay first, then later in life discovered, “I think I like men and women.” Some of us came out as trans, and through the process of transitioning, our sexual attraction did a 180. And for some of us, our sexuality and identity are completely fluid. It honestly just depends on the day!
But for me, as a Christian, the one identity that has always kept me grounded is my identity as a beloved child of God. In Psalm 139, the poet writes, “It was you who formed my inward parts and knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
As I make my way through life, and who I am continues to emerge and develop, I always have a home in my Creator. It can be difficult to discern our true identity, in a world that is always telling us to be one thing instead of listening to our hearts. For many of us, who we are is a lifelong journey of discovery.
But we can have hope that no matter where we go or what new identity we take on, God is always with us. Our Creator fashioned us in love and beauty before we were even born. Throughout our lives as we evolve, God is cheering us on as we discover our truest selves. And when we die, the final word of who we are will be “beloved child of God.”
I pray you feel God’s presence of strength and belovedness with you as you claim your identity, each and every day. And be proud of who you are! A child of God that is always growing, changing, and coming out!
Pastor Aaron
