By On & Dave Mekahel Cederberg
Dreams make the world go round. Literally. Without them, life is bleak and stagnant. We all have dreams. For some of us it’s a few, and others it’s a list that never ends. The amount of time we, as humans, spend in a dream-like-state with our consciousness suspended somewhere between dreaming and reality is quite vast. While food creates physical energy, dreams fuel the soul. They feed our desires by helping to push us towards progress and pleasurable feelings of accomplishment.
At the root, a dream starts from within its owner’s heart, rendering it a personal and solitary beginning. How do two people in a romantic partnership stay true to themselves and provide the nourishment their souls require through individual dreams, while also succumbing to the reality that two peoples’ dreams sometimes just can’t exist in the same space together? It can be a challenge, and oftentimes one person is left sacrificing more of their own personal happiness for the sake of their partner’s dream. That doesn’t have to be the case. If both partners truly understand and value the concept of a dream, with good communication, just like anything, boundaries can be set and compromises be made.
Communication. It gets mentioned here every…single…month. It is the heartbeat of any relationship. Setting everyone up for fulfillment within their individual existence means both people get a fair shot (and the support of the other) at chasing their dream(s). Lay the groundwork. Open your mouth and articulate. Sharing your thoughts and desires with your partner is the absolute number one best way to garner their support. Closed mouths don’t get fed!
Period-point-blank. Telling your partner out loud that dream you are creating a plan for not only holds you accountable, but allows your partner to start thinking how they can fit themself into this journey as an ally, while at the same time, also maintaining his or her own path towards realizing their own dreams. Planning is mandatory. Meanwhile, the great balancing act strikes again. Give a little…get a little.
Okay, so the message has been relayed, but now what? Well, for starters, begin your mental stretching. Approaching something as grand and complex as conquering a dream will require a good bit of flexibility. Not just as it pertains to your approach, but also how you envision it in your mind versus the way it actually plays out in reality. Also, dreams evolve and can transform over time, especially as you live life and allow your experiences to guide you. Malleability within dreams is like lube. Use it as needed, even in copious amounts at times, as it will render the most satisfying experience. The last thing you want is to give up on something just because you are too caught up in what you think it should be rather than what it is.
Another thing to consider is that within a partnership, sometimes the most fulfilling dreams are the ones that are shared. And not just as it pertains to “partner goals,” like a family, a house, or marriage. It’s also the way that one person’s dream can be eventually picked up by the other over time.
In our relationship, On is the rigid dreamer, as to where Dave considers things from a more wavering perspective. Within the balance that we continuously try to achieve, On’s personal dreams have also become Dave’s, as Dave takes an active role in the process toward helping On to realize his. This has also brought about an abundance of opportunity for On to open Dave up to realms of life via his dream that Dave never experienced. Here enters new dreams for Dave both individually and aligned with On’s. In this scenario, we both win.
All in all, yes, the process seems complex, but trust us, the concept is simple. Strike the balance, stay open to new things, set a boundary or five, and let the journey resume! In the end you will find that the best, most meaningful dreams in life are shared.