By John Hayden
Jeffery Roberson isn’t afraid to suffer for his art. That’s a good thing because he is really suffering these days. The man who created the outrageous and outrageously entertaining Varla Jean Merman spent the summer performing in Provincetown (P-Town). The job started well but ended on a roll, as in rolling in a wheelchair.
“Most of the summer was amazing,” he told OutClique. “My new show Varla Jean Merman’s Ready to Blow! was selling out. Unfortunately, on August 26, 2022, during my Anything Goes dance break, I had a bone break!”
It didn’t take much to bring him down, just an errant prop.
“I slipped on a Tic-Tac,” he exclaims. “Yes, I slipped on a Tic-Tac! I used them in a pill bottle as fake pills and a few fell onto the stage causing me to fall directly on my left knee.”
The nearest hospital was more than an hour away, and when he got there, the news wasn’t good. Roberson broke his kneecap and ruptured his quadricep tendon.
“I took a week off to have surgery, but then I finished my last five shows in a wheelchair. The show must go on!”
That came after another messy situation, but this one was out of his control.
“The sewerage system in P-Town completely collapsed after a huge rain storm in August. No one could shower or bathe for two days. There were a lot more tops on those two days, let me tell you!”
Restaurants had to close, and weren’t quite the same when they reopened.
“We were allowed to do shows, but we couldn’t serve alcohol. I quickly learned my show is much funnier when you are loaded. Broken bones and sewer catastrophes! What a bummer summer!”
Happy To Be Home
Roberson calls South Florida home and is with friends while his knee and tendon heal. Living and working in two LGBTQIA+ meccas means he’s never really away from fans or friends.
“There are so many people who I know in Fort Lauderdale who also come to Provincetown for the summer, and I think half the bears during Bear Week are from Wilton Manors,” Roberson said. “I have such great connections in Fort Lauderdale because me and my husband are there for nine months out of the year. It’s so wonderful to perform in vacation destinations because people are already so happy, and that means it’s easier to really get them going. What I’m trying to say is, I perform to drunk people a lot!”
For those who haven’t had the pleasure, Varla Jean’s lineage says she’s the child of Hollywood icons Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine. Her character’s been on stages ranging from Wilton Manors to P-Town to Carnegie Hall. She’s been on TV and in movies, including Ugly Betty and Girls Will Be Girls.
Once he’s back on his feet, he’ll be doing his new show, Varla Jean Merman’s Ready to Blow!,
which is based on another health catastrophe.
“Believe it or not, Ready to Blow! is about post-COVID anxiety! Let the comedy begin?”
With anxiety spreading and time on his hands, Roberson went to work and created a show everyone can relate to.
“I realized that I wasn’t the only one having it, so I wrote an entire show about how to deal with anxiety. I promise it’s funny! It was a great way for me to deal with my own personal issues through humor. I have all new songs and videos, and even a cameo by my colleague Bianca Del Rio!”
He’s set to bring a wheelchair-free performance of Ready to Blow! to Sunshine Cathedral on February 11, 2023, a venue he’s loved since moving here from New Orleans four years ago. He, along with his husband and Varla Jean, quickly settled in, and not just because of the party parallels.
“Yes, it is a party city, but I am used to that, being from New Orleans. The people who live here are from all over the country and the world, and I have met some of the best friends of my life here. South Florida knows how to have a good time! And I love witnessing that at my own shows!
After Roberson’s summer of trauma, it’s natural to worry about how Varla Jean is doing. He says she’s fine.
“Varla is on a little hiatus living in a storage unit near Port Everglades for a while. Varla could use a little beauty sleep anyway.”
Ticket information for his Fort Lauderdale performance at Sunshine Cathedral and all other performances can be found at VarlaJean.com.
